Dishonesty can ruin friendships, relationships with bosses and co-workers, and even family ties. But in a marriage or domestic partnership, it is particularly harmful. Finding out that your significant other has been deceiving you is a difficult thing to deal with, and it can easily destroy a relationship.
Lies come in all shapes and sizes. But some of the most common types of lies between couples are those of a financial nature. Sometimes they’re told with the couple or family’s best interests in mind. Other times, they are just cover-ups for bad decision making or inappropriate behavior on the guilty party’s part. But no matter what the reason, financial lies are just as bad as any other kind of lie.
There are many aspects of our financial lives that we may feel the need to conceal. Here are five of the most common financial lies.
1. Hiding credit card statements ? One of the easiest ways to spend money undetected is to charge it. If one partner is responsible for paying the credit card bill, the other may never see it anyway. And it’s not hard to get away with hiding one monthly statement every now and then. This lie of omission is one of the easiest to get past an unsuspecting partner.
2. Concealing gambling winnings or losses ? Gambling is a very expensive pastime. It’s also highly addictive. Gamblers often keep their activities a secret from the ones they love, including the money they win or (in most cases) lose. Those who lose a small amount and quit may feel that it’s no one else’s business since they’ve learned their lesson. Those who lose large amounts might be embarrassed or fear the repercussions of telling the truth. And those who are addicted may be in denial, waiting for that big win that makes up for their losses and then some.
3. Understating spending ? Some financial lies are more like half-truths. Sometimes people spend more money than they should, and when confronted about their purchases, fudge the numbers to avoid an argument. This might seem like the right thing to do to preserve the relationship, but it’s detrimental to the budget and can cause serious problems when discovered.
4. Secret bank accounts ? Opening a secret bank account is often done with good intentions. One partner might feel like it’s the only way to keep the other from dipping into savings. Sometimes, however, a secret bank account is opened to conceal bad behavior. And if the other partner finds out about it, the chances are good that he or she will assume the latter. Either way, hiding a bank account is not a good thing.
5. Secret credit cards ? Keeping credit cards a secret is surprisingly common. One partner might secretly get a card in his or her own name, in the other partner’s name, or in both names. If the other partner’s name is on the card without his or her knowledge, identity theft has been committed. And even if the card is only in the cardholder’s name, it can affect the chances of getting joint credit in the future.
Nothing good can come out of financial lies in a relationship. Even seemingly small lies can come back to haunt us. Being honest about money matters may sometimes lead to conflict, but such conflicts are much easier to work out than those that stem from the discovery of lies.
